Tossing another carton on top of the ever increasing mountain of rubbish that the overindulgence of Christmas always brings, I wondered when the last collection was. A referral to the council notice taped to the fridge revealed that it had been a month.
A few days later I was disseminating yet more trash it into the five overflowing and woefully inadequate recycling receptacles hoisted upon us by the local council when an empty box quivered. With baited breath and a mixture of fear and excitement I was treated to a rare sighting of the resident rat which has gained almost mythical status in the village.
“It was as big as a dog, and fatter than a cat”, the neighbours whisper. This was my third sighting of the fat blighter and I can confirm that the rat was indeed as big as a kitten and judging by the way it’s sizeable midriff wobbled as it scampered off as quickly as an obese rat could scamper I observed that it had dined well throughout the season.
I hope the rancid Stinking Bishop that was evicted for bringing an unsavory pong to the larder put the rat off my property for life.
Fingers crossed for the impending rubbish collection on Friday and the removal of my rubbish mountain. I just hope the poor bin men don’t encounter too many rats and mice nesting and foraging in heaps of month old rubbish captured here by the BBC.